As I sat this morning listening to an amazing message on submission I was torn inside. The particular place where I have acquired to sit in the congregation is upstairs behind a glass shield. Once again sitting by myself I was forced tho think of how different life has been since the pastorate that I was in over three years ago. When your a pastor everybody comes to you with their issues to talk, everybody wants advice or counseling on their hurts, pains and issues whether that be directly or indirectly connected with them. It seems from a pastors perspective that their is community cause you know the issues others face and you can administer prayer and grace to that person. The problem is many times they come to you because it is your job to listen, to give advice, to care. It it is not because you are a christian and it is your duty as a believer in Christ to care. Interesting that even in the old testament God speaks to us through the book of Ecclesiastes and says,
Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 (New International Version)
Two are better than one,because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,his friend can help him up.But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
and then again in Galatians,
Galatians 6:1-3 (New International Version)
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
This idea of community is all through scriptures, the idea of accountability is through Scriptures. WHY? So that if someone falls down someone out there in the community of believers is there to help that person up before he falls so far it is hard to get him back on track. Not to say that God will not do his job in retrieving a saint however their will be damage done before it is fixed that will be irreversible to a certain extent.
So what am I getting at?
The reality of that glass shield that I sit behind has turned into the reality of mine as well as, I suspect this to be true of most believers, is that we are afraid of committing our lives not only to God but to the knowledge of another. We like the glass shield because we can listen to the message on Sunday or whenever you meet and then not worry about the time it will take to invest in another believers life. We are scared to get into the "dirt" with them.
"Don't tell me about your struggles or thoughts cause then I will have to share your burden with you and invest time and frankly... I don't have the time presently so you will have to take a rain check on this!"
It is the classic hey how are yo in passing but when you start the answer with not so good it almost causes the questioner to twitch cause they were expecting you to lie and tell them your good so they can leave feeling they have done their job of communicating with you and not have to care about how your doing. Sad to say but I have found in my life presently that it is those that are apart from God that I have had more meaningful community with for the past little while! Although I yearn for it to be with other believers.
So the glass shield translates to this very question:
Who is better, the one who sits behind the glass shield at home watching a sermon being spoke on TV and not meeting with others in the service or the ones who sit behind the glass shield at the service and care nothing about those sitting around them and hoe the heck they get out of the service in time to not have to care?
Hebrews 10:25 (New International Version)
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
I really hope the church comes back to this! Not just living behind the glass shield but breaking it down and caring for other believers!
You want to reach the world for Christ? Love one another!
John 13:33-35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Outside the walls
If I were to be honest the last couple months of my life have been quite tough spiritually. I have struggled in areas that I have never struggled with in my walk with the Lord. I have understood areas that I used to struggle with as not being condemned even in the scriptures. However, at the risk of some that may read this and feel that I am of kilter with my spiritual walk I write the following statement.
Never before have I doubted so much where I am at as a believer in Christ and never before have I been able to, so objectively, look at my life and others and recognize the greatness of God's grace and mercy that is offered and administered to my life and how much He would have me administer that same grace and mercy to others.
The stories from scriptures such as the Samaritan women at the well, the woman caught in adultery, David and Bathsheba, the parable of the talents, and I could go on, have become so much more alive and rich in meaning to the point of tears. As I have looked at my own life in my failures and, dare I be transparent, sins that I struggle with on a daily basis, I can only be humbled that a God so magnificent and just would willingly offer His grace and unmerited favor on a daily basis so lavishly in my life. I do not deserve it but He gives it freely. I am unworthy yet He calls me a saint.
I will personalize this next statement even in light of the fact that it is applicable to all.
"How dare I look at the sins and failures of others and desire that they get what they deserve? Would I rather God look at my sins and failures and administer his wrath and judgment on me?"
In the past, instead of administering grace and mercy to my brothers and sisters in Christ (referred to as the Church for the rest of the blog) I have, whether I verbalized it or not, ended up judging, condemning, kicking the wounded. Woe to me for I am a man of an ungodly heart! Now did this apply in every situation, no, but I have brought it up because I have also seen it done way to much in the Church (the people not the building!).
This said I have had to take a hard look at; "The Church" (Commonly known as a building with people in it), traditions, "biblical models", programs, calling, and ask myself some very tough questions.
The following is an outcome and, I believe, a biblical answer to these questions.
When I say the word "Church" what automatically comes to your mind? Surprisingly just from reading this blog you might have said brothers and sisters in Christ. Interesting the power of suggestion isnt it! Most times in the christian society we live in however the answer is..... "the building I worship in!"
As harsh as some of these preceding statements may come across I urge you to reflect on what scriptures say concerning these things while you read it.
In Exodus 20 God gives Moses the Ten Commandments. The first one is this,
"I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me."
Just recently I was speaking with another Pastor about some of my thoughts that I was mulling over in my mind and I shared with him a thought to which, although shocked, he agreed with me whole heartedly. The statement was this,
"We have got to get outside these four walls and stop using them as an excuse to not be the church in the world. We have in turn created these four walls as well as the carpet, the fixtures, and all the rest of the points that bring contention within the Church (the people) and have made it into our Golden calf and have began to bow down and worship it"
This said it does not necessarily apply to all congregations but I believe that we need to ask ourselves the hard questions. Why do we read in Acts 2:47,
"praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."
yet we do not see it happening in our midst. At times I believe this refers more to North American or developed countries because we have gotten consumed with our own lives and material things.
I will try and make sense of my thoughts by sharing what a missionary in Benin, West Africa shared with me back in 2001 while on a short-term. When asked the question how is the church doing here in Benin his answer to the team was, "Up till now it has been very effective in outreach but I am afraid that they gotten of focus and instead of moving outwards are turning inward and biting each others noses off."
I want you to know that I love the Church and all my brothers and sisters in Christ so I say these things in love as I too have been guilty of all these things I have just gotten frustrated with the status quo and just going through the motions.
As to programs, biblical models and callings I guess I would have to say this, if we are not seeing people saved on a daily basis is it because we have lost our calling to, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations." Matt. 27:19 He never said make converts he said make disciples it is actually not our job to make converts in fact Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:6 said, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow." We can get so off track of trying to get converts for Christ that we forget to plant and water. Planting and watering is not fun! It takes time and effort especially watering (Discipling). We have bogged ourselves down so much with programs and models of how to do church that we have forgotten to just be the Church in the world. To love people to pray for people to allow our Pastors to, "Equip the saints for the work of the ministry."
There is so much more that could be said but ultimately the message I am trying to portray is this.
I would like to pose a semi type question and statement in one:
How would it make you feel if someone were to come along side you today and say to you,
"You know I would love to just spend some time with you and, without judging or condemning you, listen to your struggles and hurts and take time to pray for you and with you. I would love to speak God's word into those ares of your lives and encourage you. I want to be there for you when you fall and pick you up with the grace that God has given me. I love you!"
I think all of us could say we honestly desire this in our lives. The fact of the matter is that we have a savior that came to the earth in the form of man but the greatness of God and did just that.
I would love to encourage you in all of this as I have been encouraged.
Be willing, as I am still learning, to be vulnerable to the moving and emotions that come with allowing the Holy Spirit to move in you, change you,and use you for the work of the ministry. It is not just a pastors job is is the Church's job.
In saying all this I still feel inadequate to be writting it all it is just what God has been teaching me lately.
Its time we the church got "Outside the walls" and into the lives of those who definitely need to see the kingdom of God lived out in their midst, but God will give the increase. It is scary and not easy but together as the church we can do it.
Never before have I doubted so much where I am at as a believer in Christ and never before have I been able to, so objectively, look at my life and others and recognize the greatness of God's grace and mercy that is offered and administered to my life and how much He would have me administer that same grace and mercy to others.
The stories from scriptures such as the Samaritan women at the well, the woman caught in adultery, David and Bathsheba, the parable of the talents, and I could go on, have become so much more alive and rich in meaning to the point of tears. As I have looked at my own life in my failures and, dare I be transparent, sins that I struggle with on a daily basis, I can only be humbled that a God so magnificent and just would willingly offer His grace and unmerited favor on a daily basis so lavishly in my life. I do not deserve it but He gives it freely. I am unworthy yet He calls me a saint.
I will personalize this next statement even in light of the fact that it is applicable to all.
"How dare I look at the sins and failures of others and desire that they get what they deserve? Would I rather God look at my sins and failures and administer his wrath and judgment on me?"
In the past, instead of administering grace and mercy to my brothers and sisters in Christ (referred to as the Church for the rest of the blog) I have, whether I verbalized it or not, ended up judging, condemning, kicking the wounded. Woe to me for I am a man of an ungodly heart! Now did this apply in every situation, no, but I have brought it up because I have also seen it done way to much in the Church (the people not the building!).
This said I have had to take a hard look at; "The Church" (Commonly known as a building with people in it), traditions, "biblical models", programs, calling, and ask myself some very tough questions.
The following is an outcome and, I believe, a biblical answer to these questions.
When I say the word "Church" what automatically comes to your mind? Surprisingly just from reading this blog you might have said brothers and sisters in Christ. Interesting the power of suggestion isnt it! Most times in the christian society we live in however the answer is..... "the building I worship in!"
As harsh as some of these preceding statements may come across I urge you to reflect on what scriptures say concerning these things while you read it.
In Exodus 20 God gives Moses the Ten Commandments. The first one is this,
"I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me."
Just recently I was speaking with another Pastor about some of my thoughts that I was mulling over in my mind and I shared with him a thought to which, although shocked, he agreed with me whole heartedly. The statement was this,
"We have got to get outside these four walls and stop using them as an excuse to not be the church in the world. We have in turn created these four walls as well as the carpet, the fixtures, and all the rest of the points that bring contention within the Church (the people) and have made it into our Golden calf and have began to bow down and worship it"
This said it does not necessarily apply to all congregations but I believe that we need to ask ourselves the hard questions. Why do we read in Acts 2:47,
"praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."
yet we do not see it happening in our midst. At times I believe this refers more to North American or developed countries because we have gotten consumed with our own lives and material things.
I will try and make sense of my thoughts by sharing what a missionary in Benin, West Africa shared with me back in 2001 while on a short-term. When asked the question how is the church doing here in Benin his answer to the team was, "Up till now it has been very effective in outreach but I am afraid that they gotten of focus and instead of moving outwards are turning inward and biting each others noses off."
I want you to know that I love the Church and all my brothers and sisters in Christ so I say these things in love as I too have been guilty of all these things I have just gotten frustrated with the status quo and just going through the motions.
As to programs, biblical models and callings I guess I would have to say this, if we are not seeing people saved on a daily basis is it because we have lost our calling to, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations." Matt. 27:19 He never said make converts he said make disciples it is actually not our job to make converts in fact Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:6 said, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow." We can get so off track of trying to get converts for Christ that we forget to plant and water. Planting and watering is not fun! It takes time and effort especially watering (Discipling). We have bogged ourselves down so much with programs and models of how to do church that we have forgotten to just be the Church in the world. To love people to pray for people to allow our Pastors to, "Equip the saints for the work of the ministry."
There is so much more that could be said but ultimately the message I am trying to portray is this.
I would like to pose a semi type question and statement in one:
How would it make you feel if someone were to come along side you today and say to you,
"You know I would love to just spend some time with you and, without judging or condemning you, listen to your struggles and hurts and take time to pray for you and with you. I would love to speak God's word into those ares of your lives and encourage you. I want to be there for you when you fall and pick you up with the grace that God has given me. I love you!"
I think all of us could say we honestly desire this in our lives. The fact of the matter is that we have a savior that came to the earth in the form of man but the greatness of God and did just that.
I would love to encourage you in all of this as I have been encouraged.
Be willing, as I am still learning, to be vulnerable to the moving and emotions that come with allowing the Holy Spirit to move in you, change you,and use you for the work of the ministry. It is not just a pastors job is is the Church's job.
In saying all this I still feel inadequate to be writting it all it is just what God has been teaching me lately.
Its time we the church got "Outside the walls" and into the lives of those who definitely need to see the kingdom of God lived out in their midst, but God will give the increase. It is scary and not easy but together as the church we can do it.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Learning to trust again!
Since the second week of September I have kinda felt like I was setting sail on a ship without a rudder. The one thing I knew for sure was that I would be visiting my dear friend Christiane in Nova Soctia, as she was back for a short stint from her work with SIM in Africa, and my family who also live in Nova Scotia.
As I have traveled from my summer work in Golden Lake, ON I have seen many things and have visited many people. If you bear with me through this ramble you will understand why I am sharing this information with you.
I visited friends from my old congregation in Montreal and picked up a hitchhiker who called himself "Happy Harold." He is a Mikmah Indian from the reserve outside Moncton, NB. He spoke to me of his beliefs in the creator god and I told him I knew the creator God which became a great discussion. I then got to attend Fall River Bible Chapel and hear Christiane's update on the things happening in Sudan. Following this time I headed down to spend a week with my parents which was great as I haven't always got to spend a lot of quality time with them over the last few years. I have been very encouraged to see the work that God has done in their lives and how they have changed over the years to reflect the Love of God. I am now writing you from Shepherds Farm on Prince Edward Island. It was my original plan to head here for this past summer and spend some time interacting and learning from Stephen Cousins who runs the farm but God had other plans and sent me to Greystone Manor where I learned a great deal of what I believe God has been trying to teach me about over the past few years.
Upon arriving here I sensed a peace come over me that I haven't had for a while. Over the past couple of days I have understood why. I have spent the last few days around Godly men that have reminded me of God's calling on my life of holiness and the importance of bathing every day in prayer. I have felt so disconsolate over the past month or so in my relationship with the Lord particularly because of a lack of clear direction as to what to do next.
As I have been reading the scriptures in the book of 1 Chronicles I read these words in chapter 22 and verse 13.
"Then you will prosper if you are careful to observe the statutes and the rules that the LORD commanded Moses for Israel. Be strong and courages. Fear not; do not be dismayed."
Why do I say all this?????
I have been worried about direction and asking you to pray and even though I am still concerned about direction even as much as where I go tomorrow when I leave here. I am, however, realizing this, there is a method in God's madness. I sense I am restored again in my walk with the Lord as I have felt distant in the recent past but I have also seen the Lord minister to the people that I have been around so far on this trip.
In light of all this I still dont know exactly where God is leading me but my savings will only last so long so I will probably need to settle and find a job in the near future until God makes things more clear.
In my previous post I asked that people pray about certain specifics for me. Just recently I began and sent in my application to Moody Bible Institute to study there in the Spring. I still need two references to come in before the October 1st deadline so I could use a lot of prayer for that as well as prayer that the Lord's will will be done regarding my acceptance or not. If I got I will be finishing my Bachelor of Arts in Educational Ministries or Elementary Education for now unless something changes. I am both excited and scared about this but I know the Lord will be with me.
Please continue to pray for my other options as nothing is solidified yet.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Its been a while but the roots have grown deeper!
In May of this year my goal of paying my debts to free me up for further ministry was accomplished. I am now debt free! I now understand what God meant in Proverbs 22:7 when He says,
The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
I did end up becoming a slave to my debt and felt crushed by it but now I am free, and Lord willing it will remain that way! This also gives me the opportunity to be free for the Lord to use me however He pleases with no restrictions.
After finishing this my original plan was to head to PEI for the summer to receive mentoring under Stephen Cousins. However, it could not work out so I have spent the summer working at a resort west of Ottawa.
At the beginning of my time there this summer while raking leaves and mowing grass a strong sense of inadequacy grasped my heart and mind. I couldn’t help but think,
“Here you are Craig, your 28, not married and don’t know what you are doing in September and you are raking leaves and mowing grass for the summer…..what a loser!”
I began to dwell on this for a bit and then started to realize why God had brought me there.
IDENTITY CRISIS!!
I began to reflect on certain people I know in ministry - one who finished his math degree and another who is a Medical Doctor both of which left it all to follow God into full time ministry with Navigators of Canada. Meanwhile I was feeling a void of needing to have some degree behind my name or some great accomplishment to bring me significance. I thought of the disciples that Jesus called to follow him: Peter, a fisherman to Matthew, a tax collector and so on. I thought of many others that have been called over the years to sacrifice everything and follow Christ. Christ’s response to one of His disciples in Matthew 8:21-23 was on my mind as well:
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
I say all this to explain that I have understood more this summer than ever that my identity must be and can only be found in Christ and Christ alone or I will never be satisfied or content in anything. This has changed the way I respond to what is said to me, how I am treated, and how I work at whatever I do. It has helped me change doing things out of guilt to do things in the joy of the Lord. I consider this summer a great blessing even though it has not been easy to learn all these things.
Presently
As I look forward to Labor Day weekend, I find myself a bit anxious in wondering what my next step will be. I would like to list what options I am thinking of and ask that you pray that God would make His will clear to me.
- Transferring my credits to Moody Bible Institute and finishing my Bachelor of Science in Biblical studies which would be one year (as I already have a 3 year diploma from New Brunswick Bible Institute (NBBI).)
- Finishing the 4th year at NBBI which is now accredited for a Bachelor of Theology
Both of the latter could be done while in full time vocational ministry as one can be done by correspondence and other from NBBI is set up to do just that.
- Just finding another job which may be necessary anyhow
- Mentorship from two possible people.
- Whatever God has for me!
The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
I did end up becoming a slave to my debt and felt crushed by it but now I am free, and Lord willing it will remain that way! This also gives me the opportunity to be free for the Lord to use me however He pleases with no restrictions.
After finishing this my original plan was to head to PEI for the summer to receive mentoring under Stephen Cousins. However, it could not work out so I have spent the summer working at a resort west of Ottawa.
At the beginning of my time there this summer while raking leaves and mowing grass a strong sense of inadequacy grasped my heart and mind. I couldn’t help but think,
“Here you are Craig, your 28, not married and don’t know what you are doing in September and you are raking leaves and mowing grass for the summer…..what a loser!”
I began to dwell on this for a bit and then started to realize why God had brought me there.
IDENTITY CRISIS!!
I began to reflect on certain people I know in ministry - one who finished his math degree and another who is a Medical Doctor both of which left it all to follow God into full time ministry with Navigators of Canada. Meanwhile I was feeling a void of needing to have some degree behind my name or some great accomplishment to bring me significance. I thought of the disciples that Jesus called to follow him: Peter, a fisherman to Matthew, a tax collector and so on. I thought of many others that have been called over the years to sacrifice everything and follow Christ. Christ’s response to one of His disciples in Matthew 8:21-23 was on my mind as well:
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
I say all this to explain that I have understood more this summer than ever that my identity must be and can only be found in Christ and Christ alone or I will never be satisfied or content in anything. This has changed the way I respond to what is said to me, how I am treated, and how I work at whatever I do. It has helped me change doing things out of guilt to do things in the joy of the Lord. I consider this summer a great blessing even though it has not been easy to learn all these things.
Presently
As I look forward to Labor Day weekend, I find myself a bit anxious in wondering what my next step will be. I would like to list what options I am thinking of and ask that you pray that God would make His will clear to me.
- Transferring my credits to Moody Bible Institute and finishing my Bachelor of Science in Biblical studies which would be one year (as I already have a 3 year diploma from New Brunswick Bible Institute (NBBI).)
- Finishing the 4th year at NBBI which is now accredited for a Bachelor of Theology
Both of the latter could be done while in full time vocational ministry as one can be done by correspondence and other from NBBI is set up to do just that.
- Just finding another job which may be necessary anyhow
- Mentorship from two possible people.
- Whatever God has for me!
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