In May of this year my goal of paying my debts to free me up for further ministry was accomplished. I am now debt free! I now understand what God meant in Proverbs 22:7 when He says,
The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
I did end up becoming a slave to my debt and felt crushed by it but now I am free, and Lord willing it will remain that way! This also gives me the opportunity to be free for the Lord to use me however He pleases with no restrictions.
After finishing this my original plan was to head to PEI for the summer to receive mentoring under Stephen Cousins. However, it could not work out so I have spent the summer working at a resort west of Ottawa.
At the beginning of my time there this summer while raking leaves and mowing grass a strong sense of inadequacy grasped my heart and mind. I couldn’t help but think,
“Here you are Craig, your 28, not married and don’t know what you are doing in September and you are raking leaves and mowing grass for the summer…..what a loser!”
I began to dwell on this for a bit and then started to realize why God had brought me there.
IDENTITY CRISIS!!
I began to reflect on certain people I know in ministry - one who finished his math degree and another who is a Medical Doctor both of which left it all to follow God into full time ministry with Navigators of Canada. Meanwhile I was feeling a void of needing to have some degree behind my name or some great accomplishment to bring me significance. I thought of the disciples that Jesus called to follow him: Peter, a fisherman to Matthew, a tax collector and so on. I thought of many others that have been called over the years to sacrifice everything and follow Christ. Christ’s response to one of His disciples in Matthew 8:21-23 was on my mind as well:
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
I say all this to explain that I have understood more this summer than ever that my identity must be and can only be found in Christ and Christ alone or I will never be satisfied or content in anything. This has changed the way I respond to what is said to me, how I am treated, and how I work at whatever I do. It has helped me change doing things out of guilt to do things in the joy of the Lord. I consider this summer a great blessing even though it has not been easy to learn all these things.
Presently
As I look forward to Labor Day weekend, I find myself a bit anxious in wondering what my next step will be. I would like to list what options I am thinking of and ask that you pray that God would make His will clear to me.
- Transferring my credits to Moody Bible Institute and finishing my Bachelor of Science in Biblical studies which would be one year (as I already have a 3 year diploma from New Brunswick Bible Institute (NBBI).)
- Finishing the 4th year at NBBI which is now accredited for a Bachelor of Theology
Both of the latter could be done while in full time vocational ministry as one can be done by correspondence and other from NBBI is set up to do just that.
- Just finding another job which may be necessary anyhow
- Mentorship from two possible people.
- Whatever God has for me!
The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
I did end up becoming a slave to my debt and felt crushed by it but now I am free, and Lord willing it will remain that way! This also gives me the opportunity to be free for the Lord to use me however He pleases with no restrictions.
After finishing this my original plan was to head to PEI for the summer to receive mentoring under Stephen Cousins. However, it could not work out so I have spent the summer working at a resort west of Ottawa.
At the beginning of my time there this summer while raking leaves and mowing grass a strong sense of inadequacy grasped my heart and mind. I couldn’t help but think,
“Here you are Craig, your 28, not married and don’t know what you are doing in September and you are raking leaves and mowing grass for the summer…..what a loser!”
I began to dwell on this for a bit and then started to realize why God had brought me there.
IDENTITY CRISIS!!
I began to reflect on certain people I know in ministry - one who finished his math degree and another who is a Medical Doctor both of which left it all to follow God into full time ministry with Navigators of Canada. Meanwhile I was feeling a void of needing to have some degree behind my name or some great accomplishment to bring me significance. I thought of the disciples that Jesus called to follow him: Peter, a fisherman to Matthew, a tax collector and so on. I thought of many others that have been called over the years to sacrifice everything and follow Christ. Christ’s response to one of His disciples in Matthew 8:21-23 was on my mind as well:
21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."
I say all this to explain that I have understood more this summer than ever that my identity must be and can only be found in Christ and Christ alone or I will never be satisfied or content in anything. This has changed the way I respond to what is said to me, how I am treated, and how I work at whatever I do. It has helped me change doing things out of guilt to do things in the joy of the Lord. I consider this summer a great blessing even though it has not been easy to learn all these things.
Presently
As I look forward to Labor Day weekend, I find myself a bit anxious in wondering what my next step will be. I would like to list what options I am thinking of and ask that you pray that God would make His will clear to me.
- Transferring my credits to Moody Bible Institute and finishing my Bachelor of Science in Biblical studies which would be one year (as I already have a 3 year diploma from New Brunswick Bible Institute (NBBI).)
- Finishing the 4th year at NBBI which is now accredited for a Bachelor of Theology
Both of the latter could be done while in full time vocational ministry as one can be done by correspondence and other from NBBI is set up to do just that.
- Just finding another job which may be necessary anyhow
- Mentorship from two possible people.
- Whatever God has for me!
1 comment:
You have a real gift for writing here man, I look forward to what else you choose to put on here! I am still praying for you man.
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